Contending with Your Ancestors
Most people don’t consider their ancestors much, being largely dead and mostly unknown. Perhaps a few of us know some of our genealogy, or have a DNA website’s data on where our blood originates or how much Neanderthal is in us. It is fashionable in modern times to dismiss one’s ancestors, if they are nationalistically known for atrocities. At least in white, queer culture. Even our living families are often canceled, and it is true that sometimes our parents, grandparents and relatives frequently have a different moral outlook than we do, and perhaps they (or we) are cantankerous or judgmental. Maybe they are pure-D pains in our asses, even.
I advise, though, to contend with your blood, with your ancestors, rather than condemn them. Isn’t that what we want from our family? To be loved for who we are, embraced, accepted, loved? It is within your power, and it is your responsibility, to model those qualities and offer them freely if you are to truly to walk a path of grace.
Whether you are an atheist or a spiritualist, the ancestors are surrounding and guiding you at all times. This is the natural way and cannot be avoided. We conveniently use different language so that the natural order can be heard and understood by all. Science and spirit speak with their unique metaphors and world views, but are both describing the same universe.
“The good Lord will speak to you in whatever form you will listen. You hear the river speak to you, she hears Shiva, I hear the Mother Mary because I love her and because that’s how I was raised.” — Sharon Eiker, genius
When I was a drunk atheist, I would sometimes weep and pound the elbow pit of my white, British-descended arm while crying out that I was cursed with the blood of genocidal colonizers running through my body. It’s true, but it also turns out that my legal last name is Powers, which in Middle English translates to “the Poor.” Perhaps my impoverished ancestors did no lording over the world, but the epigenetic markers of the stress of being an exploited lower class, the indoctrinated misogyny, the ill health of malnutrition, the power of addiction and low-mortality of poverty are alive and well in the genome I carry with me today. It perhaps explains why I decided my family motto was “porn poor, stay poor, rich in the heart,” well before I learned about my lineage.
One could also think of a “genetic imperative” as ancestral inheritance. We have many thousands of years of evolution to thank for being fat/sugar compelled, grazing pack animals. The things that help our ancestors survive appear in our modern bodies, regardless of how helpful or hurtful they are in this current context.
The spiritualist knew all about this before science discovered the mechanisms of action. A spiritual person might call it God’s will, karma, supernatural law, or feel the spirits around us in pain and pressing their dead needs upon the living. The language is mostly irrelevant in the face of the truth, it is just a vehicle to understanding.
I know it’s popular to think of science and spirit as antipodes, but as with all “opposites”, they are intimately connected. The two inform one another and the more we embrace their union, the greater both become. Truly, the only difference is in language and approach — what is discovered is necessarily the same because Truth is Truth, after all.
I enjoy and study science because it is thrilling to touch the mechanics of how things interplay, the causes and effects, the forces and the frequencies. To see mysterious realities boiled down to an equation that plays out on a graph is a holy moment in my world. It’s so beautiful what we can come to know … and verify. Verification feels wonderful. Reductionism does not.
I choose today to speak in the language of the Spirit because these traditions have investigated, experimented and discovered ways to attend to the ancestors needs, to hear their counsel, and to work with them in positive and healing ways. This translates to healing me and that helps in healing the world. Perhaps modern science is lagging behind a bit of the wholesomeness front with all the research and spending on destruction for war.
So, I continue in the language of mystery. In this moment, you are surrounded by your ancestors. If you are unaware of this, you are not listening to your body and should sit in meditation for 11 minutes a day for 40 days continuously. If you miss a day — begin again.
“If you don’t have time to meditate for 11 minutes a day, meditate for one hour a day.” — some smart person who’s name I don’t recall.
Listen to your body and then listen to your ancestors because they are both trying to speak to you. If you currently cannot hear them, either they are influencing you in ways you don’t realize (“I don’t feel like myself today.” “How could I have done that?”), or you have unwittingly crafted a massive psychic block which will inevitably manifest as certain “mental illness” or as disease. (NOTE: not all mental illness or disease is because of this, but some is.)
The energy of the body must flow and exchange with the environment in order to be healthy. Just as stagnant water grows toxic, stagnant energy become sick. Unblocking yourself is much more difficult than tuning in and I recommend getting a therapist to unravel that work. Perhaps a qualified and recommended shamanic practitioner may also help.
There are two states (at least) of ancestor energy — helpful and wounded. We often call the helpful ones Angels. They are guiding spirits who come to offer support and light. I have one I call the Tapping Angel. Occasionally, I will feel her hand on my shoulder turning me in a quite unexpected direction. I always listen, even if it seems wild or inconvenient. Inevitably, months later, I will look back and see the precise wisdom of jigging instead of jagging back when the tap came. These helping spirits provide much wisdom, solace, comfort and guidance.
The wounded spirits need exactly that wisdom, solace, comfort and guidance from you. This may come as a surprise to you, but you can change the past. A simple way is in reframing it — this is a turn of perspective and a wonderful tool. Another way is by healing your wounded ancestors. I imagine there are as many ways to do this as there are people, but for me, it is as simple as leading my best, most honest life and welcoming them to witness and participate on the path. As I learn to overcome my ego, my addiction, my self-harm, my domination — so do they.
I was called upon this turn of the year to amend some blocked ancestors on my mother’s side. They have blocked themselves up, I did not block them, which is why I think I did not notice them for so long. They were hiding and my other ancestors are very loud! I imagine I will coax them to join the others with patience and safety and we will all heal some more. But I won’t know the process until it is happening. Invention is often called for in healing because all situations are inherently unique.
“Nothing ever happens twice, in consequence, the sorry fact is that we arrive here improvised and leave without the chance to practice.” — Wislawa Szymborska, poet
Tools and traditions are useful of course, and should be studied. But their true power arises at the moment they are paired with intuition.
We must contend with our ancestors. Physically, politically, personally, in the now by ending blood feuds, by offering reparations, by giving landback. And spiritually by accepting the help and love of our angels and by changing the past through the healing of our wounded ghosts.
One day you will feel the specific grief of a wounded ancestor moving on. You come to be as close to them as a beloved parent. In their health, they no longer need to be at your heels. The world becomes more quiet. You are happy they return to the light, and you miss them cheering you on in your own path of health. Peace and wellness pervades the atmosphere. This is how we change the future. This is how we pass on a better world, how we love and support those who come after. This is our legacy.
